Kiss Tax
They say love requires sacrifice.
I just didn’t know:
mine would involve…
power tools
and a team of masked torturers.
It started with hope—
"Maybe it’s just the plaque."
Four words I never thought…
would seal my fate.
So here I am,
paying the toll
in
blood and enamel,
trading my dignity for dental dams.
Handing over my afternoons
to the high priests
of plaque.
Scrape,
drill,
rinse,
repeat.
Then: again. (and again?*#!)
At this point,
my molars
have seen
more action
than a high school prom.
But oh,
the promise at the end—
to kiss without consequence,
to press lips to hers—
without triggering a full-blown
biohazard event.
And for that?
Fine.
Bring on the next appointment—
the needles,
the numbing,
the soul-shaking whine of the drill.
Because if love is a battlefield,
I’m just out here
paying the *Kiss Tax*.
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