Juneteenth or Whatever
Today was supposed
to be us—
Juneteenth marked with a slow afternoon
wrapped up in each other.
Instead, it’s just another
pre-thought plan
gone sideways—
you at the Braves game with your BFF,
Coal recovering,
me flipping between two screens at Irby’s—
Pacers trying to stretch
the Finals to seven,
Braves looking to continue
their streak of zeros
on the Mets’ side of the scoreboard,
hoping the camera accidentally catches
that flash of your smile in the stands.
I’ll find Juneteenth
somewhere in Atlanta—
maybe wander through a park festival,
soaking in rhythms and scents and laughter,
people free in every way to be themselves—
except me,
still feeling bound by missing you.
Then I’ll bury the day
in code and comments,
commits and coffee,
another library stacked
as high as my frustration,
squashing bugs to distract me
from the unfairness of this holiday without you.
But, Juneteenth or whatever—
I’m still grateful
for the day,
for your friendship
shining brighter
than the frustration,
for the hope that tomorrow
won’t need a special reason
to make us feel like Us again.
Today: freedom observed,
but not felt.
Tomorrow: another chance
to feel free—
to finally get back to you.
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