Best Weekend Ever
_Field report filed by Orca._
Coal showed up Friday…
outta nowhere.
I greeted him correctly:
immediately,
repeatedly,
and with my entire body.
At first,
he growled.
I respected this growl
because I’m young,
not unreasonable.
Then I conducted
additional research.
The results were conclusive:
loud noise,
no follow-through.
Excellent.
This meant Coal and I
could move directly
into the weekend’s main activity:
sharing.
“Is that your blanket?”
“It was.”
“You didn’t want it five seconds ago.”
“You had it five seconds ago.”
This system worked
with blankets,
toys,
bowls,
and whichever human
happened to be touching Coal…
instead of me.
I would identify
the thing he currently valued,
acquire it,
discover that its value
had been mostly Coal-related,
then leave it nearby
so he could make it interesting again.
Efficient.
By day two,
the training began to work.
Coal stopped merely enduring me
and started playing back.
He may describe this
as reluctant surrender.
That is why
his report can’t be trusted.
The humans left us alone once.
Seven whole hours
while they went
to the Braves game.
What happened during that period
remains between Coal,
me,
and every object
that may or may not
have changed ownership.
When the humans returned,
the house was still there.
Coal was still there.
I was still there.
And the growl
had become less of a warning
than the official sound
of play beginning.
Coal was fed,
spoiled,
and, importantly,
_much_ too busy to properly miss Mari.
Mission accomplished.
He thinks
he finally gave in.
I know what happened.
He had _fun_.
Best.
Weekend.
Ever.
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